i'm off for a psychiatric attention

Confused, bothered and restless.
These are the things that bests explain who I am at the moment.

Its been a while since i havent posted anything personal on my blog. Not even a glimpse of how interesting my past days was nor how sensitive i was for the past days and weeks. My brain was empty as always and my thoughts were shattered. I dont know when to laugh or cry, to live or die...

Life is so dull. Its no longer colorful and exciting. The sun is no longer smiling at me everytime it rises its rays over the horizon every morning. The tidal forces of the moon and the sun does not conform with my mood. They always contradicts mine and they always won. These forces may soon change as days passed by but the struggle "within" will always repeat itself like nightmares even in the deepest of my slumber.

I know i should seek some psychological attention. My theories and knowledge in behaviour modification had never been helpful when I am biased at times. I would be like a stupid moron if i'll give myself some reinforcements whenever i achieved or failed on something. Positive reinforcements is not working anymore. Punishment is not working either when i knew when and where to stop if pain is too much!

I could hardly define myself at the moment. Am sorry but i need no mercy, sympathy or attention. I need to recollect and contemplate in this battle called schizophrenia! Chozzz!